All roads lead to clarity; A year of awakening the wisdom within.

Approximately one year ago I was surrounded by a dark shroud of a shadow aspect within myself.
I was taking stock of all that was "not working" and attempting to gain clarity regarding my life and what the heck was I doing on the planet. I was not in any means attempting to take my life...rather understand why it had unfolded the manor in which it has, the struggles the ups and downs, and why didn't I have all the answers already?
I did what most of us do in society and I turned to GOD.
With all due respect...GOD is not what we think he/she is. I would like to share with you what I have personally found and you may take from it what you will.....this is not an intention to abruptly jar you from your belief systems, or change your spirituality. This is to share an aspect of the piece we are missing in regards to the GOD self within us all.
I started with a seed thought I had been gestating for several years and doing work on diligently yet seemed to be going no where with that particular perspective; GOD exists as a man in the clouds, GOD rules over us and dominates us, GOD abandons us when the going gets tough. So, are you wondering if I have found the light yet? Have I become some holy roller snake charmer residing in the swamps of Arkansas River valley, Salida, CO. ?
I must mention that I do know that we are of a source that is called by many, GOD.
I do know that Christ lived, taught, died on the cross. I know that Christ was the son of GOD as are we.
I also know that Christ, like all of us....was and is to this day, an energy. The energy is called TRUTH.
The energy of truth comes from infinite clarity of being. I can say I have touched this space many times, yet always seem to loose my grasp when outside influences or shadow begin to creep in to my perspective throughout the day. The infinite clarity is one of being fully 100% aware, awake, and ready to take hold of an amazing energy that one can feel takes them to the height of all that is possible. This is the GOD energy. This is what GOD has intended for us all and in fact, if we reference the bible...we are all made in the image and likeness of GOD. We are bits and pieces, factoids and cells of GOD energy.
Now how in the World did I come to know this you are asking.... I can tell you it was not found in some book translated down through the ages with a spin of ego from man's agenda dependant on the environmental, and political arena of the time.
It was not found by meditating on light beings in an ornate ashram while praying to a deity.
It was not discovered rolling in the sheets with some gorgeous Ladies man, man's man, man about town.
It was not even found fasting.
It has begun to be found, discovered to be sustainable, and realized within me through all of these modalities being the path that has lead me to clarity. All of these experiences, thoughts, modifications of "faith" and reading of ancient text have directed me toward what has kept me from my GOD self...the Christ energy within me. THE TRUTH of who I am.
I was a dysfunctional mother, an insecure wife, a jealous friend, a spiteful lover, and an inadequate midwife and doula. I was not BEING fully 100% what GOD intended me to be.....Truth, love, and light.
So how the heck do I find those qualities within myself when I am searching outside of myself? I know you all have asked yourself this before.
I began to dig. I began to face this shadow head on instead of dance with it and give it what it wanted like some temper tantrum throwing 3 yr. old. I shook it's hand, greeted it with unconditional love, and got down to work. The work has been about the conception of my soul at birth.
Wither or not you feel that GOD holds all souls or our soul is irrelevant in regards to our conception is not what is at play in this journey towards your wisdom within. It is that ENERGY is real. It conducts; It feeds; It creates what ever it is focused and infused into.
At conception, what our parents are feeling, thinking, knowing, and focused on IS & WILL CREATE OUR SEED ENERGY...our soul.
With Seven Generations Midwifery, my intention is to open the veil of illusion about what lovemaking is in regards to birth. To unmask the shadow of lies we have been lead to believe about GOD and what GOD wants for us. To gently guide parents, soul mates, youth, and elderly towards a glimpse of what is possible if only we can courageously look within our own bodies and what they are manifesting in the immediate for answers about who we are at a soul level. At a conception level. At a pre-conception level...at the level in which our selves and our society has lost it's ability to know the infinite potential and possibility that resides within all of us and in everything we do.
I encourage you today to look around at your surroundings and glimpse into what at a soul GOD level you are co-creating with yourself. What are you manifesting in your body. What are you manifesting into your daily experience. You are not separate from GOD...he is not a puppeteer. You do have a say in what your creating and I will say with absolute certainty that it is layers upon layers of shadow and ego that keep you from experiencing Heaven on Earth.